Author: Nasazi Peace
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It’s that time of year again, this dreadful holiday. I know I’ve been a good Hero, doing many favors and never asking for anything in return. It’s been tough having to be so good; the good old days of villainy are gone, I know, but some days I just wish I could be a naughty Senshi again. Warron Peace Changed my life forever, but still I do wish I wasn’t good for nothing in return. Most people don’t even say thanks anymore. Even on holidays such as this it’s a dreary time for me. Mr. Claus always seems to forget me each and every year, I’m not good, nor am I bad, so I wrote him a letter this year asking him to reply. Still I am waiting for Mr. Claus’ reply; it’s been almost a month and not a single answer. It seems he’s a very lazy old guy.
The days seem to drag on this time of year, all the villains begin to look the same; a few times I even forgot to switch costumes and my cover was totally blown. I know I shouldn’t be thinking so much about Christmas, but I just can’t help it. I’ve never gotten anything. It’s kind of getting on my nerves. Mr. Claus is even ignoring me now. I mean it’s been months since I sent him that letter. I continue to ponder this as I continue through the holiday season.
I wander about Peregrine and Talos doing my daily duty, and more days pass by. I’m starting to think and I ask a good friend, “What do I do to get Mr. Claus to remember me? “ I sigh and she tells me, “Be a bit naughty. You are too good and it’s making even me sick.” She laughs and walks away. Isn’t that funny, I’m making an elf, which is usually a merry little thing, sick. I call after Hott Koco to ask, “Wait, wouldn’t that just make Mr. Claus put me on that naughty list of his?” She glances back and shouts, “Of course! But he will notice you, wont he?” She and I go our separate ways.
I made a promise not to be a villain any more, but does doing one or two acts that are naughty make me a villain?…. Well no, I don’t think so and off to home I go. It’s late, and I still can’t sleep. Only two days left until Christmas Eve, and still no reply from Mr. Claus. Maybe he didn’t get my letter; or maybe a reindeer ate it. I beginning to think Hott Koco was right; maybe if I’m a bit naughty this year he will remember me. Well, I think I know what I can do, I am going to need a bit of assistance, and I know a little elf that seems to have the need to be a little bit naughty herself.
Planning and scheming, it’s about 11PM Christmas Eve. All heroes are sleeping, and the citizens are, too. I creep from my home and head into the night with a sack, full of spray paint, and toilet paper too. A bit of silly string just to add a bit of fun. Hott Koco meets me under the Alas statue, and we begin or mischief. Spray painting everything Halloween colors it’s a bit interesting I think. It’s so quiet and still with no villains or demands of an irritating contact to fill Atlas. Midway through our spraying and toilet papering we hear a distant sound of HoHoHo’s and a jingling song of bells. The silence is broken; we look at each other. Hott Koco looks a bit worried, surely I do, too, but all we do is shrug and continue with our fun.
Laughing and giggling, we hear a rather loud and close Ho ho ho-Hum… Looking down from above us we see Mr. Claus, and we can tell he isn’t very happy. Quickly we pack our things and begin to run, tripping and falling in the mud and snow. Though it seems Mr. Claus can out run us even with his giant belly and large sack of toys over his shoulder. I grab Hott Koco’s hand and turn on my jump jet, higher and higher we go. “I think we lost him Koco.” I can feel her shivering. “I think so too Mouynaka…um doesn’t this not last very…” we begin to fall. Suddenly we are hanging upside down. “OH CRAAAAAAAP!!” Hott Coco yells.
I look up and see who has a hold of us. “Dear Mr. Claus please show us mercy we just wanted to have some fun!” I continue to cry and plea. “Hohoho no, Ms. Senshi, this is what fun is to you? Destroying a beloved statue, my my, it seems no presents again this year for you.” “This year, I sent you a letter letting you know that I have never gotten a single gift from you or anyone else. I am starting to think you pick and choose because you are an OLD PERVERT!” He sets us down and grabs us by our ears and returns us to the statue. “Now Ms. Senshi I may be old, and I am a man, but surely I am no pervert. Now, for your punishment. For I don’t skipping you again this year is good enough, for the two of you.”
Now here we are, a little past midnight, hanging upside down in just our underwear. “You know Koco…I think he is a pervert, or at least a typical male.” I try to cover myself, because it's rather cold in Atlas this night. Poor Koco is wearing even less than I am wearing. “Oh I think he is a pervert. What non-pervert would hang us upside down in our underwear?” Again we hear jingling bells and a Hohoho. “I don’t think he...” Mr. Claus appears again. “Now ladies, did you think I would just leave you here like that?” I glance over at Hott Koco, and then back at Mr. Claus. “Well yes, actually, we did.” He laughs that annoying Hohoho laugh of his, and says, “No, my dear, of course not! Now let me finish with you and be on my way.”
Mr. Claus looks around to find our bag, and shakes his head. “Maybe your right, sometimes it’s good to be a bit naughty.” He laughs a little, pulls out the spray paint, and begins his fun…on us. Painted like Carnies, and our faces covered in silly string, Christmas day arrives and it’s shameful to be seen. Heroes and citizens alike come out of their homes for the day’s festivities, and ho-hum, lots of laughter and glee, all reading the message left by Mr. Claus. “These girls that you see, silly they may be, good by day naughty by night do with them as you wish for I have had my fun, NOW YOU HAVE YOURS!” With silly-string in their hands, they covered us some more and left us as the day begins to fade; still we hang here waiting for the day to end, and we can be free. Koco and I begin to feel a rather sharp chill. “Jack Frost. Is that you?” Koco squeals with what sounds to be delight, “JAAAACCKK!” He sets us free and covers us with blankets. “So ladies, did you learn something this Christmas?”
We have learned our lesson, and learned it well. No matter what degree of naughty you do, even a little naughty gets its due. Beware of Mr. Claus! He is a vengeful old soul. I'll leave him cookies next year and go to bed. No midnight villainy will I commit. Heroics are best for me, that I see now. Also Dear Mr. Santa Claus is a perverted old coot. That is a fact I will never forget, and neither should you.
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